http://amyeverhart.net Writer Sat, 27 Feb 2010 23:21:08 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Psssst…over here…under the fuzzy yellow blanket.  You may wonder where I’ve been these past weeks, noticed an absence of iPod confessions about sunshiny songs and lists of the signs of spring and other nonsense about warm things.  That’s because I’ve been here, huddled under this blanket, waiting for warmth to ... http://amyeverhart.net/blog/2010/02/my-life-under-a-blanket/ Not having to grab a jacket when you leave the house; Visiting with your neighbors in your backyard; Sundresses; Green grass dotted with yellow daffodils; Cooking your dinner outdoors every night; Drinks on a restaurant patio; Flip-flops; Margaritas and lemonade; Standing in line with your spring plants at Home Depot; Buying almost everything you need for the week at ... http://amyeverhart.net/blog/2010/02/things-that-are-just-around-the-corner%e2%80%a6so-hold-tight/ Me: Jumping, jumping, jumping JACK! Jumping JACK! Lift, lift weights, running, running in that weird kicking-your-own-butt-glad-I’m-in-my-own-living-room way (kind of fun!), sweating, huffing, puffing, cursing, ab work, ab work, punch, punch, PUNCH!, pretend you have a jumping rope, pretend you have a jumping rope, higher! higher! back to the floor for ... http://amyeverhart.net/blog/2010/02/exercise-time-with-jillian-michaels-a-free-verse-poem/ Every so often, when I think no one’s watching, I turn to Delilah’s sappy radio show on my car-radio dial and curse at her and the sappy 16-year-old who’s called in to request a sappy song for her BFF-Since-Junior-High.  And inevitably, Delilah will pick some love song from the eighties ... http://amyeverhart.net/blog/2010/01/singing-with-the-car-windows-up/ Clip hair off face into random ponytail.  Admire sassy self and wonder why ponytails never look this adorable when make an effort. Apply Crest White Strips and wait for them to dissolve while doing poses from yoga cards and drinking hot cocoa with Hershey’s Syrup, the light version. Brush teeth with extra-foamy ... http://amyeverhart.net/blog/2010/01/what-a-woman-goes-through-to-get-ready%e2%80%a6/ Attention, ladies, especially members of the Green Hills YMCA: You know that new cardio machine at the gym, the one where you can make like you’re in-line skating, where you dart your booty out to one side and then the other? I know you think you look really sporty as you ... http://amyeverhart.net/blog/2010/01/public-service-announcement-ladies-beware-the-ys-new-booty-enlarger/ Huff…puff…water!...need…water!...run…jog…dying…sprint…huff…puff…sweat…may vomit… Look down at fitness machine on which running, see that it reads: “Discontinue use of machine if dizzy, faint or exhausted.” * * * The gym.  The perfect setting to meet potential mates.  I mean, the place exudes physicality and sex and… …entire shirts dripping with sweat (how is that possible?) and fatty ... http://amyeverhart.net/blog/2010/01/random-thoughts-at-the-gym/ That’s right, I used “love” and “January” in the same phrase.  The two words can go together if you take a glass-half-full point of view.  So just about the time you’re bemoaning your flaking winter lips, gray-sky spirit, and unavailable gym treadmill, give thanks for these underrated perks of that ... http://amyeverhart.net/blog/2009/12/14-things-to-love-about-january/ Because I am not a celebrity (except sometimes in my own mind) and iTunes has refused to feature me on its Celebrity Playlists, I will offer my own version here, in my own writing space, where I call the shots.  Listening to this playlist at the gym this morning while ... http://amyeverhart.net/blog/2009/12/ipod-confessions-new-years-workout-playlist/ I was driving along the highway in my monster truck, zoned out listening to the instrumental version of “Sleighride,” when a tiny red cardinal came along out of the winter morning.  The male kind, the striking red you notice especially in winter against the backdrop of the gray, leafless tree ... http://amyeverhart.net/blog/2009/12/ode-to-a-lost-cardinal/